Ten food ingredients more disturbing than horse meat!

While those of us living in Europe were lucky enough to get some free extras with our lasagna, there are other less enjoyable ingredients in modern foods. After looking closely at those crafty E-numbers one should take a moment to imagine who the fuck came up with these “special” ingredients. Any fans of strawberry ice cream might want to stop reading at this point. With the exception of people who enjoy beavers ass and human hairs , this list will not be pleasant. You have been warned!

 

Toilet Cleaner (Sodium bisulfate)

The nice stuff you put into your toilet bowl when it’s in desperate need of cleaning is also what they put on potato chips. It extends their shelf life and bleaches any kind of discoloration out. But I suppose that’s just the price you pay for the privilege of sitting on a clean toilet while eating those perfectly monocromic chips you bought last year!


Beaver Ass (Castoreum)

By Chuck Szmurlo

When you are trying to safe some bucks on vanilla or strawberry ice cream you get a special kind of treat. A mixture of the anal secretions and urine of beavers is used to create a unique experience called “eating a frozen beavers ass”. Boy, am I glad I saved some cash on this very reasonable alternative to real fruits and stuff!

 

 

 

Yep, that's what they put in baking goods.Human Hair (L-Cysteine)

For mass production of bread the dough is softened with an amino acid made of human hairs. But only in about eighty percent of all times. McDonald’s for example uses duck feather based L-Cysteine. Ehm, I guess that’s better?

 

 

Crushed Beetles (Cochin)

By Alvesgaspar

Did you ever wonder where the red comes from in tomato products, yogurts and Starbucks Frappuccinos? If you were assuming it’s from the natural ingredients used to create those things, you were wrong.  Apparently the proper way to make it is to crush a bunch of reddish beetles and mix them with the rest of your quality product.

 

 

 

By Klara aus UrbanaPoop (Yes, poop.)

If you look closely (not advised) you will find something called Skatole in your poop. And if you love strawberry ice cream, I warned you, this is not your day. Because, in addition to the beaver ass your having, someone decided you would like some dung with that. Bon appetite!

 

 

Dried Fish Bladder (Isinglass)

By TrexerOkay, all you smart people sticking to german beer are safe on this one. But the rest of the world can enjoy their dried fish bladders. Used to remove the yeast from the final product it’s not even necessary, just quicker!

 

 

 

By CarstorSand (Crunchy, cheap and used by childreen as a bathroom)

I guess we all had sand at some point in our life. And while it’s admittingly not harmful to your body, I suggest the next time you get some Chili at Taco Bells ask them to hold the sand. Even though they might tell you sand is essential in making the meat not “clumpy”, you’ll be fine.

 

Wood (Cellulose)

By PelicanDon’t you hate it when you have to use those unnecessary and expensive ingredients like oil and flour to bake muffins?  Thank god you can substitute most of it with a bunch of powdered wood. And it’s even healthy! Food made with wood consists of less fat and more fiber. Win, win.

 

 

 

By John Hritz from Ann ArborBeetle Pee (Shellac)

Most commonly known as a wood varnish this magic juice is scraped of trees on which female beetles have urinated. And it makes your candy more shiny! I mean who wouldn’t want a bunch of female beetles to pee on their stuff? You deserve it and you know it!

 

 

Yoga Mats (Azodicarbonomide)

Patty and Bun, LondonLuckily this is banned in Europe and Australia. But you might want to be careful buying a hamburger (or anything inside a bun) at McDonald’s in America. The chemical compound azodicarbonomide that is also used in yoga mats is openly listed as an ingredient on the official nutritional tables. So at least they warn you!

 

 

 

Pictures under CC-BY-2.0 from Wikimedia Commons by Gestumblindi, Chuck Szmurlo, Zephyris, Alvesgaspar, Klara aus Urbana, Trexer, Carstor Pelican, John Hritz from Ann Arbor and Patty and Bun London.

 

Now as I have given you my Top Ten of food ingredients that are more disturbing than horse meat I would like to point out that these are all approved food additives. Completly safe and not gross at all. Yeah, science bitch! 

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