Drinking with Guild Wars 2

Guild Wars 2 is a huge game with a vast array of activities that you and your friends can participate in from the comfort of your home. Still, some of your friends (or if you’re at college, all of them) will insist on getting hammered. If you want to keep your friends off the streets and safely logged on to the servers – you will have to bring some rules to the drinking. I heard somewhere that the individual will grow with structure and that is also true in MMODGs (Massive Multiplayer Online Drinking Games). We all know doing it by yourself is wrong – so put on your gaming pants and go “out there”!

Deciding which aspect of Guild Wars 2 would be suited best for a drinking game was easy. ArenaNet finally introduced jumping to the series. For people like me, who were constantly hitting the space bar and moving around like monkeys in other MMORPGs, that was great news! And then I stumbled upon my first Jumping Puzzle. Without expecting anything of the sort, I instantly fell into the state of wonder that has so long been gone from World of Warcraft. Those puzzles are not just a gimmick thrown in, they provide a real challenge and many hours of gameplay. And now, imagine doing them drunk!

Let me just get my swag on.

Very Fucking Confused (Or “the rules”)

Every game needs a name and this one shall and will forever be known as: “The Legend of the Golden Capital”. It’s the story of a brave and hardworking farmer that tries to reach a legendary place of wealth and better working conditions. And about how little all of you will care that a drinking game has a story!

The rules are simple (as they should be when drinking is involved): Whoever suggests playing, becomes the “Bag of Rice”.  This person chooses a location to play at and defines the exact start and finish. The location can be an official jumping puzzle, a part of one or just a random place the Bag of Rice declares a challenge. The other players are referred to as “Farmers”. The game is played for as many times as the players are able to operate their computer. Or a chair.

Phase 1: The Bag of Rice jumps as far as he thinks he can safely get. This becomes China. If he falls, the place where he jumped from is China.

Phase 2: When “China!” is declared or the Bag of Rice has fallen, all Farmers may try to reach China. Whoever falls down has to take a shot and wait at the start. If all Farmers reach China and the Bag of Rice has fallen, he has to take two extra shots and the game is over. The last of the Farmers to reach China becomes the new Bag of Rice.

Phase 3: If at least one Farmer has fallen and waits at the start or the Bag of Rice stands in China, you repeat step 1 and 2. If the Bag of Rice fails to reach China, he looses the game and has to take 2 shots. All Farmers may then try to get to China without penalty for falling. The last one to reach China becomes the new Bag of Rice. All Farmers besides this last one are allowed to assign one shot to a Farmer of their choosing as soon as they reach China.

Phase 4: If China is declared at the finishing point, it becomes the “Golden Capital!” and the Bag of Rice has finished the game. When the Golden Capital is declared all Farmers may try to get there without penalty for falling. The last one to reach the Capital becomes the new Bag of Rice. All other Farmers besides this last one are allowed to assign one shot to a Farmer of their choosing as soon as they reach the Capital.

Extra: If you really want to stay sober and on top of your jumping game, you can play The Legend of the Golden Capital without drinking. Just play for points instead of shots and a set amount of games. The winner is whoever has the least points after the last game.

Warning: Drinking can cause your character to appear all sparkly!

Congratulations!

You read the rules, all of them. And with the current TLDR generation I believe that proves you’re in fact old enough to play a drinking game. So have fun! Though you should propaply keep your MMODGs to close family and friends. I am not sure if society is ready for guys on the Internet asking random people to grab a drink (Except on Facebook where this somehow is common practice and acceptable).

If you have any questions regarding to rules or the complex and redundant background story, let me know in the comments. And share your favourite jumping challenge with us!

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